To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.
’ One plus side of internet dating is your friends needn’t get involved in your love life, because that’s a recipe for disaster. I’ve got the perfect guy for you — but he’s not quite ready yet.’ When I asked why not, she said: ‘Well, his wife’s not quite dead yet.’ Often, I’ve seen a guy’s photo and thought: ‘Wow! Some women I know go on these sites for the same reason men do, but that’s not my style. Most of the men I’ve met have dressed smartly — that’s probably an age thing.
’ But when you email them, you get a message back saying: ‘This man is not available.’ Or you get an email, but as soon as you ask for something like a phone number you never hear back. One friend met a gorgeous man online who said he was a TV presenter. I’m looking for someone to share dates and go to dinner parties with. Sadly, once men hit the 60 mark, they tend to go downhill a bit looks-wise. You can’t let it put you off leading a full life, though.
He sounded perfectly pleasant so we met up for a date in Manchester. For 17 years my sex life wasn’t up to much, so it was nerve-racking when I first got into bed with someone else. The first man I slept with after my husband was someone I met through a tennis club. I knew I didn’t want a long-term relationship with him — he wasn’t my type — but I did find him attractive, so we booked a proper date. Everyone who posts their picture online will have used one from at least ten or 15 years ago. I’ve turned up to several dates where I’ve walked into a restaurant, seen the man I’m supposed to be meeting, but he looks more like his father.
Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.
You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.
I made a very stupid mistake when I first started internet dating. It was a really stupid thing to do, so now I’m much more careful.
I’d seen David’s profile online and we’d exchanged a few emails. When you’ve come out of a long-term relationship, your confidence can hit rock bottom. I was so out of practice, but we had a great time and it boosted my confidence.